Self-portrait in the bathroom, December 30, 2018.

Spent the day with family. Two babies. Beren played with my cousins and then turned his attention to these little creatures, six and fourteen months. They were attentive to his leaping, running, and goofing. My six month old niece’s legs and arms went taut with excitement as she watched him. He encouraged my cousin’s fourteen month old, “Try to get me!” in a high pitched voice, coming closer as he gauged her ability to catch him.

In preparation, we read a book about babies. “I don’t play with babies,” he said. “Babies are weird.” “They certainly are different than big kids,” I said.

I was really warmed to see the way he interacted, finding ways to have fun with them and considering their abilities. I was reminded of a favorite book, Free to Learn by Peter Gray who discusses how mixed aged groups of children are so important and are often self-regulating. Beautiful and true.


Last night, a beautiful solstice gathering hosted by our friends, Eddie and Julie of Practical Primitive. We wrote the things we wanted to let go of and the things we hoped to bring forth this coming year, and sent them into the fire with sage and then sweet grass. I am appreciative of knowing such special people and that my son can visit a place full of knowledge, skill and spirit — all made manifest.

Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness by William Styron

Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness by William Styron, published 1990. Read it around 1994 or 1995. Picked it up at the library. Made an impression. I will have to read it again. All I can remember is really relating to it. I remember his phrase “autumnal plunge”.