Night into Morning

My feet were cold and damp feeling under the covers. I adjusted my body, the blankets. The night, it was deep into the night. I rose and went to the closet and found only a down winter blanket and beach towels.

I took the blanket and my pillow and went downstairs to sleep on the couch. Jared was long asleep. Shortly, I heard Beren’s feet uncertainly padding down the steps. The clouds caught the moon’s light and illuminated the sky and the room dimly. I was surprised that he came down in the darkness.

“Momma, I can’t fall asleep without you.”

“C’mon up,” I said, patting the opposite end of the couch.

We agreed that we could not sleep. He wondered about how galaxies were made, if life was found on other planets (he believes so), and other things I could not hear him whisper. The refrigerator creaked, the fan blew, the dehumidifier rumbled, and he whispered on.

We went outside, and in the moonlight, he said, “Wow.”

After Beren fell asleep. I went to the office. I checked credit card receipts for a bill due on Wednesday. I filled Excel cells with emails and names. I logged into my blog and felt nothing but perhaps complicated feelings of regret.

I turned off the light and went back upstairs. I walked into the doorframe, tripped over Jared’s arm, and lay down. My chilled, damp feet touched the sheets. I drifted to sleep beside my husband in the hours before dawn.