Oh, my heart is so soft

Then, Jared puts on the Sticky Fingers album by the Rolling Stones. After “Wild Horses”, Jared asks me what cheerful music we could listen to.

““Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves?” I ask.

“Huh?” Jared replies.

“I’m walkin’ on sunshine, whoa oh. I’m walkin’ on sunshine…” I sing.

“Oh, yeah. Like that, but something else,” he says.

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I don’t wanna a holiday in the sun...Summer in Clarkston, Michigan

Clarkston, Michigan was a mostly middle class and upper middle class suburb. Jared and I were by no means either. Our privilege was whiteness, if that, because our whiteness was at least partly shadowed by our shabbiness and what might be called “artiness”, “bohemian air” or “punkishness”, and likely all three.

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11

How did I survive all this - being suddenly ill in my early twenties?

People like my family and friends, particularly my immediate family who navigated the transitiions and paperwork, and also my bandmates, roommates, and handful of tight friends.
Photography, particularly the self expression it allowed.
And, music, particularly making music. The self expression, the pull to perform, and go go go.

9 - Chic with Cane at the Plum Street Pub, New Brunswick

My bandmate leaned in and whispered, “You know, they are calling you ‘the hot chic with the cane’”. He was referring to the members of a Midwestern noise band on the bill we were also playing. My mouth twisted. “Oh,” I said. I thought, “Ugh!” and “Great!” simultaneously.

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Navigating Music

Navigating Music

Jared and I exchanged text messages - I encouraged Jared to enjoy the show and not worry about us (as best as a flip-phoner can text). I knew he'd be respectfully half-distracted as he wondered how we were doing. Navigating "taking turns" and remaining fair in family life is a big thing for us. I wanted to let him know I was happy, and especially happy if he was happy.

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Warsaw Village Band / People's Spring

My love for international folk went on, as we searched for free concerts in every city we lived in and visited. And then was later supported when we lived in NYC and had access to the wonderful music collection at the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts. Those were some amazing stacks. A candy store. Oh, I do miss that library. We made friends with others who loved folk music, exploring together. 

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