The past 48 hours. Do I have the capacity to hold it all?
A morning of long term planning with my husband and business partner. A bridal shower for a dear friend's future daughter-in-law. A night of brief and interrupted sleep. A day of working like a dog in the nursery. A moving treaty signing with local Lenape people.
At the shower, my friend asked us to introduce ourselves and describe how we each handled self-care. At the treaty signing, I ran into a former classmate from this spring's mindfulness 8 week program. She asked how my practice was going. In short, it's not. I had excuses. She just picked the practice back up.
On the way home, I decided to pick the practice back up. "Maybe I'll see if my classmate wants to do a weekly check in, to talk about our practice." I checked in with my family, "Beren, I'd like to do my yoga at home after I set you up with twilight snack [code: bedtime snack]." Jared added, "I'd like to play music. How does that work for you?" Beren said, "Oh! Who's gonna play with me?" Jared responded, "Beren, I'll read to you while Momma does yoga."
Getting back into practice went like this: I was distracted. I laid on my back. It felt so good. I thought about all the times I laid on my back. I cried. It was sad. It was good.