You know what's nice? Clarity. Clarity is a good state of mind. Clarity, like being on top of things, doesn't last, but it certainly is a good place to be.
That 8 week mindfulness class I took in the spring? Solid gold. Better than gold. Better than a dragon's lair full of gold. From it, I have gained clarity. It come sand goes. I welcome it back every time, so long as I notice.
For example, the thought of certain tasks causes me dread. I used to think I had to 'get over it'.
Get over it, because you're an adult here, kiddo. Get over it because if you don't you'll give yourself wrinkles, young lady getting older. Get over it because you may die of a stress-related disease and leave your family behind. We'll all be wringing our hands, even me in my coffin! If only you got over it! You wouldn't be dead! You'd have had perfect posture! You wouldn't have worried your bones to death!
There are groups of books that really distress me. I'm going to knock the books that would show up in my "recommended for you list" not the Wall Street Journal or a conservative lifeways blog reading list.
I'm knockin' some: Health books. F/cking stress me out. Exercises for every part of my body including my toe hairs which I wish didn't exist? Herbal books. F/cking stress me out. A tea of what? Every day? Child-rearing books. F/cking stress me out. Daily rhythms for every moment of the day? Lighting candles to celebrate the return of the raspberries?
I pick up these books, and am occasionally struck with panic. A sense of inadequacy. A sense that if I don't do this We'll all be wringing our hands, even me in my coffin! The authors are so earnest. They come from knowledge and experience.
I read other books and am comforted. Is it the tone? Is it that the author is aligned with my sensibilities? Can't I just live my life? Yes, with clarity, that comes now and then.