The Cycle

 Look out! It's that time of the month. What a funny way to talk about things. We need some new language!

Look out! It's that time of the month. What a funny way to talk about things. We need some new language!

I thought this would be easy, talking about being a woman. Well, it is really is not.

Being a woman is truly ever-shifting. Day by day, moment by moment. I can tell you that is for certain. As a woman with cycles, that is for certain. Things change. Ask me how I am on any day of my cycle, and the answer will be different.

I am awful with tracking things, with time, with organizing content. It's not interesting. Ask my spouse. For the past eighteen years, I have told him every cycle, "I just got my period. I should really write this down. I'll know when my next period is coming." He agrees that it is a good idea.

Makes so much sense, right? I don't do it. Besides, my temperament varies with my cycle, and I can usually tell what's up and what's coming down or out my tubes or what's about to. Mind you, I used the word 'temperament', not 'mood' because everything a woman feels is real, whether it is real or not. It's not a 'mood'. Save the word 'mood' for types of music and lighting, not for what I am expressing, especially right before I get my period. IT'S NOT A MOOD. It's usually something that needs work or attention, and most likely at another time. Tut, tut, at another time, but make sure that work gets done, because you know what will happen the next time in the days before your period rolls around: all that unresolved stuff roils back up. BIG TIME.

I hate the thought of being put in a box. Maybe that's why I don't track my cycle. Oh, you "have" PMS. That's why you are acting/feeling this way. Tut, tut. You'll be feeling better soon.

No.

One. PMS is not something I "have". I don't posses PMS. I don't own it like I own the laptop on my lap. It's a part of my life. For the moment, I will avoid getting woo woo about periods. I will avoid getting science-y with talk about hormone fluctuations etc. It's just part of my life.

Two. It is not a diagnosis. It is not an illness. I don't "have" PMS. It's not an affliction. It's part of my life. And, it can alert me to troubles at hand. As in, "This set of life circumstances keeps bothering me in the days before my period." Ah, again, better look at that.

Sometimes, I do what I am demanding not be done to me. As in, "Ah, that's bothering me again. That's because I have PMS." Nice, Rachel. Convenient. A good way to write off something that ought to be handled.

So, three. As above. Handle that stuff. Look at the stuff. It's not easy, especially if you're feeling cranky, mean, tearful, sassy, fuzzy-brained, strutting good bad crazy... like I feel every thirty days or so.