I know you are busy...

 Busy season kitchen

Busy season kitchen

My friends are very polite. At this time of year, they might begin a sentence with "I know you are busy..." They end their sentence with the sentiment that it would be nice to get together and they understand that time is short.

I begin sentences this way, too, out of respect and compassion. Many of my friends live with the seasons in one way or another. Some of them have been hustling since lambing season in winter. Getting away from the farm in anyway possible is good and important.

This time of year is a bit, just a little bit, like having, hmm, maybe a 4 month old baby or maybe a year old baby (Oh, just caught a typo...I wrote "a year old 'bear'. Wonder what that would be like.).

Spring is definitely not as busy as having a newborn child. So, things are a little easier than in the newborn days. Some vague notion of "a system" is in place. Occasionally, days might feel settled, until they suddenly become chaos, growth spurt style or today-is-a-wild-card style.

 

There is not a one to one relationship between: 1.) My baby is crying and I can't exactly figure out why and I have done everything I could imagine three times. And, I have not slept in forever and my mind is unraveling and I am an introvert, at least sometimes, and I have not been alone in months. 

And,

2.) It's the busy season and the plumbing is doing something odd, several clients want a wildflower species that is simply not growing right now, the milkweeds are taking their time emerging and everyone loves them because everyone loves helping monarch butterflies (including me), someone inquired via phone about a plant that just sold out, the tab key on the laptop is sticking, and I am an introvert, at least sometimes, and I have not been alone in weeks. 

Far and away, having a newborn or even a slightly less mysterious older baby is not as hard as having a seasonal business. Even the slightly less mysterious baby will decided, "Today and from now on, things will be different, at least until you get used to this new way, and then I will change again." Which, from a mother's perspective, can be a good thing or a bad thing.

Last year and the year before that are something like this year. I can prepare. I am aware of how things might be. I know that our nursery is inspected in May. I know that spring weather is unpredictable. I know that by early June the nursery will be empty, and I will be tired. I can change things that I don't like at least somewhat. For example, I can quit.

I can't quit being a mother, not that I want to. The busy season means something has to give. Just like the newborn days, the house will be cobwebby and gritty. Meals will be slapdash. Maybe time for writing will get threadbare. Maybe kung fu practice will be skipped. Maybe a night out with a friend will be cancelled due to exhaustion. Maybe a touch of sanity will be missed.

So, any time I can put a penny in the bank, I do. I do try. I kind word or gentle touch for my spouse (and business partner), or maybe "We are on the same team. This time of year is tough." Or, "Hey, c'mere guess what germinated in the Little Woods!" With our son, any extra that I can do, I try. I try my hardest. Let a pleasant meal last a little longer. Read an extra story. Go fossil hunting.

With myself, admitting that I am tired or grouchy. My desk and mind are cluttered. It's aggravating. I am an introvert, at least sometimes. I am also happily available for tea and visits.

mackow_misc-2824.jpg
mackow_misc-2825.jpg
mackow_misc-2834.jpg
mackow_misc-2857.jpg
mackow_misc-2871.jpg
mackow_misc-2877.jpg
 Fossil day trip, Beltzville State Park, PA April 22, 2018

Fossil day trip, Beltzville State Park, PA
April 22, 2018