Cradle, Not The Crib

 December 15, 2010 And this is how we were, for years.

December 15, 2010
And this is how we were, for years.

Once, I thought, "I could pour love into this child, and he will never be satisfied." I was tired.

I imagined gaping baby birds in the nest.

More MORE MORE!

I imagined pouring love into those mouths, into my baby's mouth, and that I would never get to the bottom.

Once, I thought, startled, "I am like my baby. I am just like my child. I will never get enough love."

I am a gaping maw.

Hungry, hungry.

Never enough.

 January 18, 2011 This never lasted long. My son wanted to be held. Always.

January 18, 2011
This never lasted long. My son wanted to be held. Always.

More MORE MORE.

Don't leave me in the crib. I'll die here. Alone. Cradle me in your arms. Hold me. I'll live. I'll live.