Where my heart is

"Momma, I'm two cushions long," Beren tells me. "Yes, it's true. I remember when you were one cushion long." Beren's first clothes I bought for him atop a current outfit.

When I met the man who would one day become my husband, I felt as though my heart was protected. He didn't run away with my heart. I was certain my heart would be taken care of in ways it had not been before. We had romance but I also had certainty. He took up part of my heart's burdens. "You are balm for my soul," I once told him.

At a blessingway for a dear friend who will give birth this autumn, one mother said, "When you have a child, it's as though your heart is walking around outside of you." She'd been told this by another mother before she'd become a mother herself.

My, my. How true. How different a place than where my heart resides regarding my husband. I described this mother's wisdom to him. Indeed, he and I agreed, how elegant a way to say, how true, each of our hearts were outside of ourselves.

What a vulnerable place for a heart to be. How joyous, how exciting. It's startling how it feels.