A Big Deal

Jared and Beren on Sunset Hill

This evening we took a noisy stroll with Beren in his wagon. We waddled down the steep slope on our road to what I like to call "Sunset Hill". Jared and I walked side by side sometimes, sometimes holding hands. Sometimes I stared at Beren's long, thin legs. His tight fitting tee shirt with orange sleeves showed how big he'd gotten. He munched on corn chips.

He's so big.

Remember when I had to hide in closets to nurse and not even that worked because he'd grab everything in the dark? Remember when Jared had to cral across the room below Beren's eye level so he'd remain focused on nursing? I thought I'd never rejoin society.

Remember when started to walk? I don't exactly remember his first steps. I hope Jared does. Early walking days were great days.

Remember when Beren gave up his afternoon nap? In frustration, Jared tossed Beren's stroller. It broke. That happened when I was at work. It seemed like such a big deal. Beren didn't like being in a stroller anyway.

Remember when he first linked one wooden train track to the next? I do. I remember helping him. I remember trying to assemble them incorrectly so he could help me. I remember repeating, "Tab goes into the notch."

Remember when all he said was "MMM mmm Mmm!" and then "Mouse!" It seemed like such a big deal. Now he says, "I had a bad day." Why? "Because I coughed. And when I spat out water."

Remember when we would go to bed until 10:30 pm? I do. Because he often still does. Remember when it seemed like something was wrong? It was - we lived in a moldy house. Every minor cold spun out into the croup. Now we don't - we live in a high and dry house. Now a cold is a cold, just the common cold. And yet, bedtime is often much later than I'd like. Instead I now get a cheerful child, our night owl who sleeps well at night because he can breathe well. It's 10:32 p.m. and Beren's making  vehicle with "machine parts" from a shell and modeling clay.

Remember when something seemed like a big deal? Why? Because it was. Those early days. They're real, they're rough, but where did they go?