I realized that some people do read what I write, more so than anyone ever looked at my photographs that I printed, framed and hung on gallery walls. Once I'd hang my work, with the help of Jared, I'd turn away and not examine the pictures. They were mine, but I'd given them away. I also did not want to see anything I felt critical of or embarrassed by.
I suppose this blog is the same. I'm giving the writing away, and once I do, it's not me any more. I've released it and freed myself of it. Except, you know something about me, whereas a black and white photograph of a nature scene doesn't tell you too much about me, my state of mind, family life, checking account balance, sleeping arrangements, or shopping habits.
I try to balance my family's needs with my own. When I write about my family, I consider how they may feel about what they read now or in the future. They're the stars of the show, and I do like their company.
1. School for Beren, and a morning of quiet time for Papa. I cried, and went to my part time job. Jared had watery eyes, I think. My eyesight is doing that just about 40 year old thing, so I'm not sure. Jared went on to have a productive morning. Beren loved it.
2. No more open ended questions which can be answered with the word "no", "no", or "no". The threes are upon us. We find at thigh height an incredible, articulate, creative, mischievous, capable, fragile, sweet-hot child that practices somersaults (he can say the word, too) before bed.
Thoughtfully phrased questions also can be answered with "no", but the frequency of that response has gone down.
3. Calling out "Momma" clear as day, but in the middle of the night...rather than just crying.
4. Using people's names. Again, also clear as day. Examples: Grandpa (a month or more ago). Nona (a couple weeks ago). Norman and Frieda also recent.
5. Consistent use of the facilities.
6. No more saving crispy chicken skin for last on Momma's dinner plate. The little one's got a taste for it.