Last Night

Vernal pool in the Sourlands - Last night a warm rain fell. I wonder if the salamanders and wood frogs migrated to their breeding grounds in vernal pools. Was my son highly attuned the energy of the night?

Last night Beren awoke at 1:30 a.m. We fell back asleep no sooner than an hour later.

Following the advice of the only child rearing book I have read (Mothering Your Nursing Toddler), I offered water and a small snack. Following the advice of my father-in-law, a dentist, I gave him cheese which does not stick to the teeth, not that I have brushed my son's teeth more than ten times in his life anyway. I continued following the advice the book: rub back, murmur soothing words. I gave up and nursed my son again.

Following the advice of every wise parent I have known, I went down the remainder of the Your Child Can't Sleep Checklist. Starting from the top: 1.) Wet diaper? Yes. Sopping. Pants sopping. Our mattress  and sheets also wet. No need to proceed down the list.

Jared changed Beren, who warbled on. "Cat."

"Cats are sleeping, Beren."


"Mice are sleeping, Beren."

I rubbed my child's back. I went through a list of animals that might be sleeping somewhere in the world.

I heard Jared tinkering with our tinctures of Passiflora, skullcap, and lemon balm, each with their own powers to help one back to sleep. The diaper that Jared had placed on the wet sheets was increasingly wrinkled and lumpy beneath my back. The down comforter was horribly hot.

"Momma's going to sleep on the floor."

Jared rocked Beren in his arms as I settled under the much cooler cotton blankets on the floor.

We finally fell back to sleep. As I drifted off, I recall high anxiety dream state thoughts. I can still vaguely picture tables filled with neatly arranged blocks and rectangles. Possibly circuit board pieces.

Of course, we slept in this morning.


Note about reading: I've also read The Childbearing Year by Susun Weed, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and Naturally Healthy Babies and Children by Aviva Romm. None I'd consider to be about child rearing, specifically.