A work tee-shirt and sale rack H&M pants, ones that have actually lasted nearly ten years. Train engineer cap from I. Goldberg in Philly. Mattock and multiflora rose crown not optional.

Last night I went to a party - a reason to get dressed up. Jared wore a nice shirt, suspenders, his beat-up ankle-high Clarks boots, and Columbia pants, worn with a bit of soil ground into the fabric. 

It was a wedding celebration, so I skipped the winter party standbys in my closet - the red satin pants, the red and gold phoenix jacket and settled on black. A black long sleeved cotton pullover from the Eddie Bauer outlet (I know why it was seconds - the hems are itchy, so I often wear it inside out), an itchy vintage wool jacket with rumpled faux fur, and a floor length velour skirt from the Express. The skirt predates my marriage of eight years, so the elastic waist is "losing its pizazz" as my mother would say. 

I finished the outfit with a pair of black tube socks (hand-me-downs) from Jared. "It will be dark. No one will know," I told Jared. "Would you like me to see if I have thin pair of socks?" he asked kindly, hinting maybe.  

I did change to thinner socks. Tube socks would not fit into my clunky Mary Janes that I have worn to every dressy event since I purchased the shoes five years ago.

Later, when I sat in a quiet side room at the party, I would remember my socks, my scabby legs (no one who has earned and bears the title Land Steward has or should have nice legs), and my tired shoes as I crossed my legs. 

My son, overstimulated by the party, cuddled in my lap for "nummies." I discretely pulled up my shirt, as discretely as one can with a stunningly blonde toddler who really wants to nurse. The once animated circle of fashionable, svelte young men and women in the room went silent for a moment, or maybe I just imagined that. I shrunk small and then glanced at the young woman to my left. Pregnant. Maybe she and her husband will recall this moment at some point. Maybe this teeny tiny moment for me will help them feel bigger one day, for the sake of their child.

 German military surplus jacket, dyed purple, I. Goldberg. Stihl work gloves, that store that went out of business in Hopewell on Route 31. Women's Carhart pants, Flemington Department Store. 

 Hat and pants as described in photos above. U.S. Marines tee-shirt 50/50 cotton/poly, hand-me-down from Mom. Shoes ??, Blue Ridge Mountain sports.